I've also come to see that perhaps for someone who was a neglecting H and didn't meet her needs that going dark may not be the best thing to do but pursuing isn't going to work either it's a fine line that must be walked and it isn't easy.
I feel the same way about my H. It's a fine line that I haven't been navigating very well. So I look forward to hearing from the veterans on this.
I've also come to see that perhaps for someone who was a neglecting H and didn't meet her needs that going dark may not be the best thing to do but pursuing isn't going to work either it's a fine line that must be walked and it isn't easy.
I feel the same way about my H. It's a fine line that I haven't been navigating very well. So I look forward to hearing from the veterans on this.
Hopefully they can chime in here with their words of wisdom.
M 44 W 43 S 23 S 15 INILWY 9/11 Divorce Mediation started 3/13 June 30 the day W is moving out
Well today started out well,lol. As my W was getting ready for work this morning I asked if the gym was crowded last night and she told me she went to a Zumba class. I asked how much that cost and she said 20 sessions for $100. So I said spending money we don't have to which she brought up my spending. Now keep in mind that it was two weeks ago that I got chewed out for taking $40 out the account for a GAL activity. She basically told me to stop talking to her which I did. For the life of me I can't wrap my head around how it's ok for her to spend money but it's not ok for me.
I'm really beginning to feel as though my W thinks she can do as she pleases since she thinks/knows I want to work things out but I'm growing very tired of the double standard and I feel like I'm being totally disrespected. So I need some thoughts on if I should bring up the fact that I feel she is disrespecting me and that it's not ok for her to treat me like a child when it comes to the finances and it's ok for her to do whatever without me saying a word about her spending? It would be a 180 for me to stand up for myself but without arguing and handling it like an adult. This whole situation has had me in a state of disbelief. Thoughts?
M 44 W 43 S 23 S 15 INILWY 9/11 Divorce Mediation started 3/13 June 30 the day W is moving out
Wow it's hard to believe that it's been almost two months since I last updated my sitch. Much has happened in this so I try to be brief.
About a month or more I decided it was time for me to totally detach. During that time I had known W was constantly checking my phone so I put a pass code on it and she was not happy. I also changed my FB password and that really angered her so she went into my email account and found things that really pissed her off.
I had made a few new female friends through my sister and my sister put me on a private page where it was anything goes. There was some flirting going on but never anything beyond that I haven't even met anyone in person. So naturally my W thinks the worst and just tells me that she doesn't want anything thrown in her face. Well nothing was thrown in her face as she was the one who went snooping and I have no intentions of doing anything anyway. Keep in mind that my W is still to this day saying she is saving her money and moving out but I'm now feeling that she doesn't want me and doesn't want anyone else to have me either.
At some point my sister called my house to speak to me and my W picked up the phone and the two of them had a huge blowout resulting in them never wanting to speak to one another ever again. My W did tell me that "IF" we were to ever work things out that I would not be able to have a R with my sister.
I know my W checks my phone records all the time because today she called from work with an attitude asking if I spoke to my sister and I said yes. My W is not happy about it.
The more the days go on the more I feel like I'm really becoming detached from my W and the I'm starting to see that she has control issues. As much as I need to change for ME I see that she needs to change and work on her issues. I'm no longer sure that I want to be with her I'm starting to feel like I want my freedom. Sorry this was long winded and that I haven't been up to date.
M 44 W 43 S 23 S 15 INILWY 9/11 Divorce Mediation started 3/13 June 30 the day W is moving out
Today is a very sad day we lost a beloved member of our family our yellow Molson. He was diagnosed with kidney failure last night and we had to make the painful decision of putting him to sleep this morning. He was almost 11. Its like losing a child. It was very hard to walk thru the door today after work and not be greeted by him. I miss him.
M 44 W 43 S 23 S 15 INILWY 9/11 Divorce Mediation started 3/13 June 30 the day W is moving out
Just a quick question: did your W always check your emails/FB? I'm just wondering why she seems compelled to do so at this point. Do you think she separated for other reasons - like to get your attention?
I'm just wondering - and haven't read through all the thread, so sorry if I missed something.
Hi Yankee. No my wife didn't check my fb or email accounts before this. My counselor thinks she is either curious or she still cares. As far as seperating to get my attention, that is possible since I didn't treat her like she was important to me.
M 44 W 43 S 23 S 15 INILWY 9/11 Divorce Mediation started 3/13 June 30 the day W is moving out
