Crazytown population me.....

[BeingMe]

Just caught up with your sitch, HRM. It's a crazy ride for sure.

The intimate thing, when it happened to me, I just told my H that I have "needs" too. My H also felt guilty, but this was before I found out about his EA. Stupid me! I have been driving down the MLC road for 7 years, and I wouldn't be surprised if it were 7 years before that. My H is a liar (he would be insulted if he found out I felt this way, but it's true) and also one who doesn't give out information. He likes to say that I forgot, that I'm the one at fault.

Anyway, just know that you will eventually detach, and get used to the new, and unimproved H. Sad as it is, I have realized that nothing in life stays the same, we can reach the heights of joy one day, and be in the valleys of sadness the next. So, the best thing is to live in the moment. Hard, but doable.

Another thing ... be prepared for the possibility of OW. He said there "may" be one. The rule, "Believe nothing they say, and only half of what they do" is applicable here. So there probably is one, and it's been going on for at least 5 months.

Another thing ... never mention his mother again. You can't do anything about her. She is his mother, and that can't be changed, so the best is to refrain from saying anything about her.

As for finances ... surely half of everything is yours too. Half his pension, half his bonus, half the house, the car, etc. as half of your stuff is his too. Make sure you get it if you proceed to D. Don't let him get away with not fulfilling his responsibilities, even though he doesn't want to. Choices have consequences ... he needs to face his.

Take care.