hi everyone i havent been here in many months.. my son went on a retreat with school and they asked the parents to write their kids a letter saying the things they were proud of since the day they were born, and their son would receive the letter on the 3rd day of the retreat. so i text h to please write the letter to ryan. he was happy to do it. the school also asked the parents to come to the school for a reunion on the day the boys returned from the reunion. so i text h and told him about going. it was in the auditorium. i got there early and h didnt show until just before it was going to start. he came over to sit with me, i was surprised. we had a very nice conversation, he was being really nice to me. i asked about his family and i told him i d been playing alot of tennis and had tennis elbow very bad. i told him my sister was coming fro st patricks day. he said he would send me a copy of the letter he wrote to ryan. i said i would send him mine too. we emailed the letters to each other the next day. his was very nice talking about the day ryan was born and the many memories of him growing up, and his talents and strength. my letter said the same too. at the reunion w the family the boys all came out and sat on the stage and some went up to talk about their exp. on the retreat. at end the teacher said to go and join your family now and then go to gym to get your suitcase. ryan just went to get his bag he didnt come over. ron and i stood in hallway with other parents waiting for their son's and we continued to chat which was very nice. then the 3 of us walked out together to my car . after we put stuff in he came over to my car door cuz i was sitting in car,and seemed like he didnt want us to leave. the next day was st pats day and sister and i and our kids went to beach. when we were at beach h text me and said he put gift for my nephew and vitamins to help heal my elbow. he left my nephew 150.00 that was the gift.
sitting with him that day made me realize how much i miss him and miss talking to him. h has a whole other life with ow though apt. and everything. i still feel stuck with finding my own happiness. i dont have much work right now and spend to much time on the dating sites. i get lonely being alone. the dr. from CT doesnt call me and i think about him to much. i think because i wasnt div. he lost interest. i know i shouldnt be dating but im afraid ill be alone forever if i get any older and less attractive.
