Yes Stephanie - it's ain't over til it's over! I feel that very much in my situation.
I had a dream this morning about an old boyfriend of mine. It was the boyfriend that I had before my husband. In the dream, it finally ended. I don't know what exactly ended, but the feeling was just no longer there.
that's when I realised my current R is not over because I still love him. It will be a bumpy ride for a while, but this has not been fully decided. All I can do is my best, and that is what I will feel at peace with in myself. Yes of course I feel unhappy about how things are going at the moment, and I have moments of fear, but I try not to dwell too much. I have been through enough in life to know the importance of focussing on the possibilities, because miracles can happen.
BTW, my old boyfriend used to be someone who never knew what he had until he lost it (me). I did complain that he needs to stop looking at other women, and stop talking about his ex-girlfriend and so forth. I was sick and tired of it, and that's when I fell out of love. He was stuck in his own past. 5 years after I finished it, he emailed me to say that he was still in love. I told him that I was married and in love with my husband so don't even bother (obviously I said it in the nicest possible way but firmly). I told my husband and shared the email with him.
I'm concerned that my H is now expressing some of that old boyfriend's traits. There is a danger I might fall out of love if he carries on, and this I am more afraid of than anything else to be honest. I loved loving my H, and I loved being loved by him.
