Detached, but not Broken-a diary of a LRT

[Broken74]

Thanks 25,

There's an old saying I put into practice quite often... How many bites of a $hit sandwich can you take before throwing up... I'm throwing up now. This particular other man matters so much because it the same mf that she had the affair with.

You are right about my anger. I have been working on it, and the only thing that sets it off now is my W's ridiculous adultery driven behavior. I don't think that any amount of Divorce Busting, Mediation, Bible Reading or otherwise is going to make any man not get angry about this type of situation. Maybe I'm just beyond help, if so that is fine. I can't stand being treated like this anymore. I can literally envision her servicing this douchebag in the car I got her for Christmas and there is no way that doesn't make me angry.

That being said, I am working on a number of things about myself, my anger being one of them. But there is nothing that is going to make my viewpoint of her behavior in any way acceptable. She has discraced herself, me, and her children and family, I just don't think she realizes it yet.

I don't see there being any recovery in this now. I honestly don't. She literally dangled things working out over my head to backdate the separation agreement so I couldn't file an alienation of affection lawsuit against this dude. Her behavior has been unprecedented, and yet I still wanted to fix this, why?

I'm going to be the best person I can be for me, because I've certainly learned through this that I'm the only person I can truly count on (besides all of you wonderful DB'ers of course).

I guess in a way I took BustORama's approach to a little bit more of an extreme. It will be an interesting psychological experiment to see what happens over the next few months.

I am moving on with my life as now. Call it GAL, detachment, or whatever but she is no longer of my concern, or that's what my mouth says anyway.

Thanks again for your mentoring I truly appreciate it. I feel like I am back at ground zero but I certainly won't be making the same mistakes I have been making.

At this point I honestly don't think I ever knew my W. She is truly the most manipulatively evil person I think I have ever known. And will that help get over this any faster, probably not.

Man this is so extremely ridiculous I would never in a million years have thought I would ever be in this situation.

Thanks again 25 and all of you, I am keeping the focus on myself, no way I won't be detached after this at least...