Divorce....with a side of crazy...

[imthemom]

thanks guys...before all of this I was an avid workout freak!!..I did Crossfit 4xs a week and a runner, ran every day. For the past 6 months I have been speratic at best. Last week I started back up with my Crossfit 3xs a week and am trying to get back regular with my running..it really does make me happy to be out running when the sun comes up...
just seems like I havent been able to find my happy in anything anymore, I know that will get better and Im makeing an effort to get up and out weither I want to or not..its just always in the back of my head...I hate that !! Ive started Alanon about 3 months ago and go pretty regularly, its helped alot!!
For some reason today I have had this uncontrolable urge to call him and just talk ...trust me, I wont do it but I miss just talking to him about my day, about the boys, about stupid stuff that we would just laugh like crazy at...
I am very aware that he does not care about that stuff anymore, but as for me, Im not the kind of person who can just turn off 19 years like they never happened ....maybe I should become an alcoholic, that apparently has made it possible for him to do as he pleases and not have any acountability...must be so nice to be him...and this is sooooo not what Al Anon would support..:)
Need to get some sleep tonight and start over tomorrow!!