Hi wishing, so sorry to hear what you're going through. My H said basically the same to me, and for what it's worth, many if not most of us here have heard the same. It's like a script.

For now, know that you have time, more time than you can imagine, and that changes you make will change the dynamic between you without him ever going to counseling.

Recognize that you can't change him and can't change his mind, and work on what you control, which is YOU.

Look for the 37 rules, it's a good place to start. Read DB. Take care of yourself in every way possible. You will be OK.

Adinva 51, S20, S18
M24 total
6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out
9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50
5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend
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Happiness is a warm puppy.