Husband left me...feel hopeless

[Jenna333]

(((Stephanie))) I'm reliving what I went through while reading your posts. Mornings were torturous for me. Eventually I found solace in saying to myself, out loud, "I am only in control of myself. I did not choose this. He chose to walk away." I would also repeat, "If it's meant to be, it will be." I would sometimes say them through tears, and I would typically have to breathe deeply and try to distract myself. That is when GAL came in handy.

I tell you what, though, we've been back together for 1 1/2 months now and it's been incredibly rough. It's starting to mellow out, but for a while I wanted out. Towards the end of our separation I started to realize how I deserved so much better, how I couldn't forgive him for letting another girl be the catalyst for his leaving his family. I was so elated that he wanted me back by the time it happened that I wouldn't make myself face what I was actually sacrificing by being with him again. It did feel like a sacrifice, and sometimes still does. Repairing the trust issues has to be the hardest thing I've ever tried to do.

If he left again, or if I left, I know I would be ok. I'd find happiness with someone else. Most importantly, the separation allowed me to find happiness within myself, and that is something I will carry with me throughout my life, regardless of who is by my side, if anyone.

Find that strength within yourself. I know how hard it is to not obsess about the R and changing yourself do that your H wants to come back. I think many of us start changing for that reason. I know that I started to love the person that I was becoming, and I actually felt sorry for J, for leaving someone so great!

Under the Tuscan Sun was a good movie for me to watch. It's about a woman who was cheated on and left, and she finds her own happiness