Detached, but not Broken-a diary of a LRT

[Broken74]

Hi Rick, I'm in North Carolina so it can't be filed until the one year separation date. I should have worded my last sentence better, I'm not giving up on myself I will press forward, but I am done trying to do anything to try and reconcile. Basically my W is an adultress and I have to accept that, and she has no ethical problem continuing to try and build a relationship with her affair partner, after putting me through the ringer financially, playing my emotions to avoid the legal ramnifications of the affair for both of them, and just in general being a ridiculously cold, manipulative, cant!

This is like uncovering the affair/bomb day all over again. I am mentally quite squirrely and the only think keeping me from making a pretzel out of this low life Dr. mf she is still dealing with is the fact that I would get locked up immediately.

This entire ordeal has been such a joke from day 1. I am really trying to take a step back and calm down, but it is an extreme challenge. She again mentioned my behavior as being irrational after my getting slightly peeved upon her admitting that she is seeing the original affair partner. So basically not only does she have no remorse for the Affair itself, she is going to continue down that road I'm sure he's met all the kids by now etc.

Not my problem anymore. He can have her. She has a doctors appointment today and I am still concerned about her. I still love her and wish she would change her ways. I personally just cannod deal with this anymore, I am going to either have a heart attack or end up in jail if I continue to go down this road.

She is the WAS from hell... She cleaned up her act during the holidays to milk me for the Chirstmas expenses and put her in a new car, banged me a couple of times then started seeing this douchebag again after the holidays.

I will miss my stepchildren and her, but I won't miss the constant struggle in my head, which I am interested to know when it will stop since I am have came to grips with the fact that this is truly over...