You've been married 12 years and hope to turn things around in 1-3 weeks? Really?
No, I hope to earn a chance to work things out. I don't think its right or normal to just walk away from 12yrs and 3 kids.
[quote]Why did you do this? Not a challenge, just in your own mind, what were you trying to accomplish? Was this a way to fix your marriage?
She said it was OK, I didn't feel wanted at home. I was hot happy with wife either. I didn't get love or affection back and I thought I put a lot into marriage. When your 38yr old wife ignores you and a hot 22yr girl over over you is difficult to turn down. Wife had already mentioned a separation and (seemingly) suggested a open marriage. I don't think the reality had hit me. I realize it was a big screw up. There was not a goal, it was more about fun. Wife never wanted to go out the only thing she had asked for was space. I've apologized, wife does not act like this was a big deal. I cut off relationship, it was just the one evening of dancing no sex.
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What did she do to try to be a "better wife"? How do you define better wife?
What she did: Sex once a week. Me: Romance and emotionally there, happy, spending time together, maybe a vacation
There were some more "good mornings" etc. Previously a lot more mornings I would go up and give her a kiss and tell her I loved her and would not get much response. Medically she has some issues and is tired (and moody) a lot. I took a lot of it as being physically exhausted
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How could you be a better husband? A better you?
I honestly don't have a great answer. I was always caring, loving. Increase efforts to do thing like cook and take kids away. She did not seem to respond to suggestions we take a weekend trip with kids or have date nights. I started working out and dressing better.
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she constantly “needed a break” before and I never took them on my own. In my defense, I didn’t but it was hard for me to handle a baby and two young kids by myself.
Really? What exactly is your defense?
Well, I did do it a lot.... dinners and taking kids to park, etc. Just not as much as she wanted, she could sleep 15 hours a day if she could. Obviously something I would change. I guess she did not make effort for me so I did not make effort for her. I lot of things I would change... I've owned up to them with her. I've been super-dad lately, but even before I was more involved than most men are. If we go to a family gathering with her family its usually ME out playing with all the kids (mine and nephews... her family, brothers, drink... her laying down for a nap. I realize I may be better off with a divorce... but I hate to do it to kids and really want my wife to try.
