Husband left me...feel hopeless

[jks]

I can tell you that this is why so many people on here say to GAL. Start doing all the things that make YOU happy and YOU alone. This will help you more than you know. Eventually you get this surge of feeling in control of yourself and your feelings. Go out with girl friends as much as you can and try something new that you've never tried before.

I'm so sorry that you're hurting like this. I think we are all so lucky to have these boards to vent on. Keep doing it. I noticed in the beginning that I was having all the feelings you were except I was voicing them to my H because I couldn't keep them in any longer. I needed to get them out. So you are doing great by keeping it away from him.

I read in the DR book that it generally takes the same amount of months of consistent DBing as the years that you've been married/together. So just know that what ever he's going through is going to take time for him to figure out. You wouldn't want him making a rash decision based on a feeling right now anyway, right? He could choose to stay with you only to eventually leave in a month or two because he was doing it for the wrong reasons OR he could decide to leave you completely because he may feel pressured from you or doesn't see you making the changes from within that he wants to see.

After everything I've gone through I can tell you that I would much rather give my H the time to really think everything through with his whole heart. Without me pressuring him and without emotions flying off the wall. I can tell that his heart has softened naturally on its own.

Plus, this is such a great time for you to focus on yourself and perfect the person you want to be for yourself.