Husband left me...feel hopeless

[hopingandpraying]

I feel the worst in the mornings. I wake up and try to think "Today is going to be a great day!" But, then I realize life is not what I want it to be and this is not where I wanted to be and that I didn't put myself in this situation. I know that I am in control of how I feel and react to things, but I can't shake these feelings sometimes. I just get 'down' and don't really know how to pull myself up because there is such a HUGE void I am feeling in my heart! It literally hurts!

I talked to my DB coach last night and she makes me feel better, saying that I am doing a great job and trying to be positive when I'm around my H and that this will take time. I quite honestly HATE how much time this could possibly take and it hurts me and makes me mad that the outcome of our M is mostly in the hands of my H and I'm just waiting to see if I'm the ONE he loves...while he figures out why he is sooo unhappy with all aspects of his life. I know I do have the choice to walk away at any point because he did have a PA with someone and that goes against my morals and values. We always told each other that the only reasons we would divorce would be cheating, alcoholism, and abuse. Now that my H has cheated on me, I don't know why I can't just walk away, because I know in my heart and my mind that I deserve someone that would NEVER do this to me, because I would NEVER do that to him!

Thanks for letting me vent!