taking the time to watch the wave

[BFloat]

Feel blah today. Txted back and forth w/ H earlier about S still not feeling well. I aske questions but didn't offer solutions like I did yesterday. Just let him handle it.

Later in the evening, I txted H regarding the new line at work. I've been thinking that it might not work for me because the long hours woul make it difficult to care for the kids. In a 2 parent household it could work but being a single parent.. It really bites.

H said he knows I'm trying to think of what's best for myself and the kids. The new line would bring more income but it would be more draining. He just said he thinks I know what's right to do.

I so hate this position I'm in. I wish I could just wave a wand and either be R or just be done. I hate the logistics and trying to figure out the details. Some days I really wish I could start over. Not give up the kids but just knew where my life was heading. Some days.. It just feels like too much.