WHG: Looking for the shrinking cake

[workinghardguy]

Been struggling a bit today... unexpected waves of emotions at odd times. Couldn't figure it out until just now... realized it's been one month since W and the kids moved out. Guess it's good that it took me all day to realize it though.

Have had minimal contact with W since Thursday. It's actually been kind of nice. Allowed me to be with my S without having her in the picture. I did call her this morning before she went to work to confirm some logistics details for the week since I am going to be on the east coast for a few days for work. Also had to ask her for a favor which involved taking S for most of the afternoon/evening on one of my nights this week. Originally my mom was going to do it, but there's only a half day of school that day. W will have SS and SD already so I thought perhaps she could take all three rather than ask my mom to drop everything midday, etc...

It's funny how a simple request can quickly unlock the "woe is me gates" with her. That question evolved into my W explaining how she was planning to walk with her friend that night, how she can't if she has S. Ok. Then it quickly moves into how she feels so lost and messed up right now and needs these walks because it gives her a chance to talk it out with her friend. Mind you... before folks take me to task... this devolution occurred in perhaps 6 seconds.

The difference this morning was that I didn't listen. I simply repeated the question/request and told her if it was too much trouble I could make other arrangements. She stopped complaining then and said that, no, she can take him and will figure out something so she can still walk. Perhaps leave S with her friend's daughters (8, 12, and 17) who love him and he loves them... glad you got that figured out.

Then S figured out I was talking to mom and wanted a chance to talk to her. She just doesn't check in or call him when he's with me. I don't get it. I used to encourage S to call her each night but have stopped. If he wants to talk to her he will tell me. This morning he told me so I gave him the phone.

S and I went to church and then went out to lunch with my mom. Worked on some more "house reclamation" work this afternoon, trying to make the home more my own. That's a slow process. Sermon today was on gratitude... it was well-timed.

It sure doesn't feel like a month has passed. It feels like a week has passed... and it feels like a year has passed.