You did great! I am so proud of you! You are on it girl!
You couldn't have handled that any better. This is no small endeavor, not asking where and why when they've annouced they are leaving for a week. Remember we've been married, and normal married people WOULD HAVE THE RIGHT TO KNOW OR WANT TO TELL THEIR SPOUSE. Given we're in crazytown, well the rules have changed!
Now, what happened this afternoon in regards to physical intiamacy....dear lord I've been down that road too. No I must commend you for how you handled it because when it happened to me, I didn't handled it like you did. You were right in saying he didn't have anything to be sorry about, I mean you guys are married. I hadn't discovered DB or this site when that happened with H and myself. Had I, I probably would've handled it different. For me, I did get the wrong idea and impression. I thought we were on our way to reconnecting. H told me that it wasn't meaningless but it didn't solve all our problems and that he confused himself as well as me with that behavior and he was sorry. He soon hooked up with OW after that. Guess he figured I was NOT the one to go looking for a good time with.
Im so glad you've made it through one of his cycles and you now know what to look for. No he doesn't have to be real with other family members or co workers. They too condone what they do and let them live in their fantasy world. Yes we do represent reality to them....and this is why we do get the worst spew from them. I always felt that was a double edged sword with me and H. I represent reality to him. At times it's good when he's willing to listen and be clear. Others, well Im just an authority figure that won't let him have his way.
Prayer has been helping me too. I pray for clarity for me to see the things I need to see that will help me through this. Remember the poem Footprints! He's in control and he's carrying us, even though it may feel like we're stumbling all the time.
