Yep. Our situations seems to be very similar at the moment, but I think you may be a few weeks behind me. Granted, in the grand schema of things here that means squat. Funny - I bought my wife a copy of "How To Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It" too. She told me that she didn't like it at first....too "scientific". However, she did read all of it and we have talked about it in brief.
I sympathize with you greatly in this limbo of "maybe she will maybe she won't". However I am taking solace in the fact that at least my wife and I are getting along together...very well, actually. That gives me hope - and I think that each positive interaction is slowly.....let me say that again.....sloooowly helping tip things a bit. We have spent a lot of time together with our son recently and we seem to be really enjoying it. No hand holding or other intimacy, but there a have been a few nice hugs. Small, but I didn't see that as possible 5 months ago.
I am probably not the best person to give this advice, but do the best you can to compartmentalize the legal sh*t from all of the other positive things going on with your relationship. It is VERY hard for me to do because the two things are very related. Nonetheless, treat them as two separate things. It has helped me to never, ever discuss the legal crap with my w. I think that would make her feel some kind of pressure that right now she just doesn't need. My time is almost up, my D will be final 5/8 - so I know the day is coming when I will have to ask her about what's on her mind. Until then, I am content to take my small steps in progress. I would suggest you do the same.
Bond with your son. Do as much with him as you can. That has helped me, him AND my w's perception of me as a father (I think). That has been one real benefit from this whole ordeal - my life with my son (will be 2 in 2 weeks) is great. That has helped bridge the back and forth gap between two homes. It doesn't stop hurting, leaving him behind with my w....and I know it hurts for her too. But I honestly think that he has (and will) play a role in the restoration of our marriage.
Sounds like you are making some progress. Take your time and enjoy it. When you are on your own, enjoy the solitude....if you pine for you wife or son it turns to loneliness and that is a hole you want to stay out of.
