KG, I would recommend adding the book "CoDependent No More" to your list. It's done wonders for me....
... also I would recommend The Shack too. Not a self help book but there were days where I really needed reminding of God's Love for me...
I agree with everyone that you do need to lose the anger.. but it's OK. It's part of the grieving process and alot of times.. growth can come out of it.
I found that.. for me.. some of my healthiest breakthroughs came from getting angry about something.
I understand about being angry that your spouse is happy. I still fight my anger that my w treats others better than she treats me.
But how she treats me.. has no influence (or should anyway) on how I treat her.
Do not show love to your H because he is showing love to you.. do it because you want to be a loving person....
... or as I always tell people.. It's hard to not love someone when I know God loves me and I can be so incredibly unlovable at times.
Do not lose yourself in anger because we tell you not to.... do it because anger destroys the soul. It brings out the ugly... and no one deserves a life of anger.
Hand it over to God. Let him be angry for you.
Do not forgive yourself... just realize that you have ALREADY been forgiven.
Loving your H will be a choice that you will make over and over again.
But understand that loving your H does NOT mean that he can be "controlling" or all over the spectrum with his actions.
Love is soo many things. It's saying no, it's creating boundaries, it's letting people fall.. when you want to save..
... and the list goes on and on.
We tend to always focus on the warm fuzzy feelings or the "butterflies" of love...
...but it's d@mn hard work. So the question is... do you want to put the work in??
M(f): 40 D'ed: 8/12
Show empathy when there's pain. Show grace when warranted. Kindness in the midst of anger. Faith in the face of fear.
