my guess is the reason she was advised not to bother labelling or diagnosing him (though she already said he's an alcoholic/problem drinker)
is b/c she's wondering if the marriage itself is repairable and whether she can forgive another affair AND
how to cope with him being in the house and now behaving the way she always wanted him to in the past.
(It's hardly a case of her being in denial, if that's what you fear.)
Spending her energy on whether he's an alcoholic or not isn't her main focus right now.
b/c Healing herself, & seeing an attorney for legal protection, are higher on her list, and wondering IF and HOW she can forgive...
Or so I assume.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
