I am stunned by the feeling that she hates me and truly wants nothing to do with me ever again. And this is after all the platitudes about not wanting to lose me or my family, that she loves me and doesn't want to me out of her life. Blah, blah, blah. All lies. I just cannot get over the fact that we shared 20 years together and she can just toss me out like so much garbage. Feeling pretty small and sh*tty.
Oh I know this feeling well. I received that script from my w. Even after a year - it still hurts that my w made those same decisions.
What really helps me is just GALing with all the people who DO want me to be part of their life.
It was hard at first as in some ways it was constant reminders that people I didn't know half as well... loved me twice as much as my w.
But after time and constant effort to see the glass as half full - I really began to enjoy all the new relationships I was building.
Now when I want to enjoy life - I think to call them first vs. wife...
... and when I need support - I think to call them first vs. wife..
... maybe that is me finally accepting where she is.. but there are very few times in my life now when she is first person I've wanted to reach out to.
You will get there too...just put in the effort.
Put in the effort to not believe her lies about YOU. Put in the effort to build relationships with others.
And over time the sad days turns into moments....
... the pain of your sitch lessens...
.. and you will enjoy life once again.
((( )))
M(f): 40 D'ed: 8/12
Show empathy when there's pain. Show grace when warranted. Kindness in the midst of anger. Faith in the face of fear.
