I didn't see it coming...but now I see everything

[breakdownbill]

Bill...so sorry that you find yourself at this low point, but I think you knew that is was coming from what I am reading from your posts. My advise would be to get back to DB 101. You said that you have not read the divorce busting books. That is a good place to start

Review the 37 rules

Go back to your short term goals that you listed the other day
Continue to post here for support
Put the focus back on yourself..you can't and should not try to change your W decision..

Good luck

Thanks notsosunny for your advice, I've now stopped trying to change my wife's mind and accepted the decision that she doesn't want to be with me (right now- anyway). I need to focus on me, but she said a few things today that rung true about the problems we'd been having for a long time. About me being distant and not making her feel special and loved. She said that the OM makes her feel special and good about herself. As hard as it is I can't stop this PA from happening, she's emotionally attached to this guy and at the moment things are new and must feel good - compared to all the hurting and guilt we have.

Anyway - I've took your advice and just ordered DR and DB books - i need to educate myself as to how I'm gonna recover and make me feel happy again. I feel exhausted with it all and although I want to save my marriage - I think spending some quality me time is way overdue. So I'm going to keep to my list and add some new ones.

1. Enjoy my time with the children and have fun with them.
1. Focus on my dissertation less than 2 months to go
2. Keep up the running
4. Keep up the dancing (I'm hooked now too!!)
5. Read and re-read the DR & DB Books
6. Stick to the 37 rules
7. Post often
8. Keep the faith - that if it's meant to work out with my W it will do and if it doesn't, be there for the kids and be happy.

Easier said than done I know, but I need to start DB'g now!!