Hoping for a better Spring and a new chapter

[25yearsmlc]

Multiple emails and texts today, just small talk or "can I call I have a funny joke" or "you looked cute sleeping this morning"

It makes me sad really. A few weeks ago I would have loved to hear both of those things. It is just sad.

Are these his 180s? Some form of new behavior or effort? I can see why you feel sad.

You may feel "it's too little too late." But guess what?

you do NOT have to decide that now.


Don't worry I didn't respond. The one time I said "sorry in a meeting right now" and the rest I deleted.

The same person who wanted to go out all the time, and party with his "friends" now wants to stay home and garden this weekend. He hasn't done anything around here in a long time. I was really hoping for the alone time. I suppose I will need to make some plans to be out now.

anything on that list that HE CAN do that would help you? If acts of service are his love language and the yard needs some work, let him!

Maybe he wants the "quality time together" to make a point. It's fine for you to say "too soon for me" And know inside that it might not ever happen...

but again, you do NOT have to decide (or label--good point Labug) that today.



Staying off his roller coaster but man is this house small

Glad you are seeing the L. You are merely gathering intel right now so you can make informed choices.

If you win the lottery, buy a bigger house.

(and again, feel free to call--I left a vm on their contact#)

PS--the local support might be Al Anon...I found them very helpful with my dad's issues as I grew up.

A decade later when I had our first child and Christmas came, a lot of stuff was triggered. (This was shortly before EE)

So I went to my old meeting again. I saw a guy there who'd been attending that SAME group for over a decade and He literally told the same story about his father's drinking. (His dad was dead). The guy had made zero personal progress or changes in HIS life and he was now an adult.

So yes, some folks there wallow in victimhood. I do NOT worry about that with you.

When my father was dying from drinking (liver cancer) in '93 I had to explain who he was to those who asked. And I gave the eulogy.

I don't want to summarize his whole life with a label ("alcoholic") or a reader's digest 3 lines. He was complicated.

He was a brilliant well educated man with some truly great qualities and I miss him to this day.

He was also a raging alcoholic for 21 years of my life and when he died he'd only been sober about 2 years for which I'm grateful...he died sober too. Also a gift.

I suspect you have many deeply conflicting emotions now, PLUS you are also reeling from the OW.

No labels or definitive diagnosis from you are needed...surely not today, or this week.

Give yourself the gift of time that you DO have...and get informed about your legal/financial options.

And in time, & with other support, you can see how you FEEL...