11th Hour of Divorce & Trial: What Else Can I Do?

[25yearsmlc]

The new medications, (that would put a hours down), have had a great effect. I am so happy I tried the Adderall. I was really afraid of it, as I had it years ago for axils ADHD, and it made me a jittery mess.
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Thank for your advice 25, and please excuse any rudeness or abruptness in my previous post. I come here with extreme baggage. People that come to the site are all shapes, colors, sizes, and conditions. One-size-does-not-fit-all.

That is why I'm often perplexed that rather than listening and guiding - gently, (folks that could be emotionally on edge), that often I see some abrupt statements such as: "what are you coming to this forum to achieve?". "why would you want to be with that person if he did those things (anything from abandonment to cheating).?


I asked you how we can help you. That is not what I see as abrupt, so much as direct. And it keeps you on task w/figuring out what YOUR GOAL is here.


I came here 6 years ago, sometimes just to whine/bitch about my h. Someone very direct asked me if that was helping my marriage much...and I realized it was just keeping me stuck in my anger. I personally needed the direct approach.

THEY asked me what I asked you which is, "how can we help you?" Kept me focussed on finding solutions, not rehasing the past or repeating my list of grievances against my h.

If I wanted to merely vent here, I could. It is allowed.

But if someone wants to DB then that means CHANGE and that's a different story.


You have said you are a lawyer several times.


"several times"? Hmmm. I say it only b/c you have such extreme legal fears that I wanted to allay.

What kind of law do you practice? I would like to know that.

why? This isn't about me or my professional credentials. There is no competition here.

I may have an illness, but I do have extensive credentials and accomplishments myself; but that does not mean I absorb the MWD material any faster than anyone else.

all the more reason for us to stay solution based, wouldn't you agree? And I did notice your academic credentials which you have mentioned. No problem. I get it. This is new to you, sometimes seems counter-intuitive, but you are a quick study.


There are an unlimited number of variables that effect how one can absorb and apply DB. This is only complicated by the fact that DB is flexible. Further, the gentle advisor might bear in mind that words and phrases such as love, unconditional love, detachment, withdrawal, giving-up, hope, denial, etc, have a multitude of definitions ingrained within us more deeply than MWD.


I personally posted a short piece for you on detachment, which you said you liked. That's it.

I don't use the term "unconditional love" here at all b/c it is SO misunderstood/misused, and I don't think I used the word "denial" either. Perhaps someone else did.

We must have words to define our theories. Theories that are for practice in the real world must be recognizable. For the purposes of this theory in practice, we use these terms and define them as such. Fine.

I feel we should not be so expectant for newbies, like Broken and myself, to be required to articulate in DeeBee-ese, exactly what we are at the site for. The way you state it, 25, it's like you're gonna drop us if we don't have the right answer.


Sounds as if you feel defensive about my directness (and or someone else's since you attribute some comments to me that I did not make).

But If so, then another veteran may be able to help you more. That is not a threat to "drop" you so much as me wanting to go where I am most useful.

And btw, I focussed on your legal fears b/c you brought them up in your subject's title.

I wrote about my initial perceptions of this site early on one of Broken's early threads. I was not totally alone in my perception. But I did get the lyrics wrong on the Beatles song.

No offense 25. Just another Gal's perception. Y as

I have posted to Broken on his thread. He speaks well for himself.

(For what it's worth, I have no recall of the Beatles song you quoted or who commented on the lyrics. I don't know what you are talking about).