It's sad (and humorous) that you all have developed a 'code red' as a warning for your W's moods. You deserve an award for being as to sit and listen to her ramble on!
Purg...Vinnie and I have had this secret code for quite some time sadly...but it does work! Code red means hammered...avoid at all costs; code blue means super depressed...avoid at all costs; code green means she's jealous of an imaginary woman (if she ever knew about our gang ha ha); code black means suicidal; code grey means she's speaking in tongues (we can't understand). I know it might sound like a big joke at her expense but it really is not; we are dealing with such wild mood swings and output that it became an early warning system...kind of gallow humor
Your level of detachment is amazing!!! I hear you saying that you will help her, of he asks for it, in anyway needed... But at the same time- the plans you have for you life and your kids are going to continue and aren't effected by what she's choosing to do.... I hope to reach that one day (hopefully it won't take a year!)
Purg...none of this has been easy, and I just recently made the breakthrough to understanding my anger and judgement. You get the lighter side of this from me and we can laugh about our trials together, but it has been so hard. I'm just now knowing I can see her objectively, let her go whereever she needs to go and help her if she wants it. She will always be part of me, hell she's been my adult life story up to this point. Purg in your way you have a big trial ahead of you with the deployment. Think long and hard about what life you want going forward. You don't have to have him in it in anyway less than what your life calls for if you choose. I'm not advocating you leaving, bt I am asking you to think about all we have learned about DB. It is possible that you can tell yourself how you want to live and maybe he will be a match for that. If not, some other incredibly lucky bastard will. Mach suggested to me once that I write a "mission statement". Just write down "how" you want to live. It helps you know. In fact. I suggested to W last night when she was asking for help that I had heard they help. She may or may not remember that this morning.
You're so strong. Glad to know you!
I feel like a stupid cheerleader- because I'm just repeating the same things as everyone else.... But I'm so proud for you!!
I'm glad you're a cheerleader for me...even if it is a Raiders cheerleader...shudder. Hey I'm a cheerleader for you too, short skirt, woolly sweater, hairy legs
