10bus - I'll echo Labug, don't make your decisions on your W's emotions, you'll stay confused.

Also, IMO, if you're afraid of acting, then maybe you need to face the fear and do what you fear to do. Just an opinion so take it or leave it.

Sorry to hear about your dad, but as encouragement, that is exactly what my mom was diagnosed with a couple months ago. She is doing great and her doc continues to tell her that it is very treatable.

Take care,

Me:45, W:45
S:16 D:13
M:22, T:25
Bomb: July 2010
Putting finances in order for "D"
Continue to live in same home-separate rooms