Maybe it's beating a dead horse as the friend issue has been gone over with a fine toothed comb...
I do want to share though, that your W could see it as, and you could in some ways, be involved with this friend as an EA...
My W became very emotionally attached to a gay work friend. He was one of whom I would have considered an EA. Sending "ILY" messages, hanging out with him in their hotel rooms in less than modest clothing and having "girl talk"... things that transitioned her emotional involvement from me, to him... in the same way that her female BFFs (one specifically) were also, to some degree...
