thanks accuray, i had a feeling i may have slipped up a bit there. right after the words slipped out, i immediately thought, oops, i probably shouldn't have said that...
thanks for the advice. i'll try to keep that in mind for next time. i've been doing pretty well the past few weeks in terms of lying low and acting pretty detached (still working on my mental detachment), so this outpouring from H was kind of unexpected and tbh kind of caught be off guard. this was one of our first honest exchanges we've had in awhile too, which is why i didn't want to just brush it off too.
Originally Posted By: Accuray
Originally Posted By: mncwing
and made it clear that i love him still and accept him for who he is.
I would leave that out. Paraphrased you are saying "look at me! I'm right here! I'm just exactly what you need!"
He needs to realize that on his own, you can't tell him or convince him with words.
The better message would be "I'm sorry you're going through this, I hope you work it out."
Don't offer advice, don't give him any suggestions. Listen, validate, and that's it. It's very tempting to try to be helpful and offer your thoughts and advice -- don't.
