I'd very seriously doubt that any marriage prior to an affair was quite good. I'd take very seriously W's complaint that she didn't feel connected.
However, one doesn't feel connected by having a partner "patch things up" simply to make things easier and demonstrate no backbone. One doesn't feel connected through needy calls that are really all about the other person.
I suggest:
(1) Warmly embracing W, tell her how genuinely you are pleased to see her, that you missed her. Brush her hair. Show her that you *see* her as a person. Bring her a gift from the airport that demonstrates you *see* her and know her.
(2) Very directy tell her (BUT NOT THIS INSTANT): "The other night when I suggested making love, your response really didn't work for me. It really hurt because I felt rejected as a person and as someone who loves you. I believe we both deserve more care, love, and tenderness with respect to lovemaking."
