Six weeks of separation and counting

[Accuray]

ptcrussell,

You backed off and saw a response. When you re-engaged, H retreated again. That's "the dance" and will keep cycling until YOU break it by NOT re-engaging when every part of you is telling you that you should and it's the right thing to do.

The ironic thing is that when you pursue H, you're easily dismissed. He knows "where your head is", that you're not moving on, that he can come back, so you're out of mind, or on the shelf as it were. When you withdraw, distance, detach, then H doesn't know what's going on, and THAT'S WHEN HE THINKS ABOUT YOU. Then, he will wage a campaign to get you back on the shelf and get you back into your pursuit behavior. When he starts to re-engage, you need to keep him off-balance by not committing. Be nice, be cordial, be vague, be mysterious.

There is a sitch on this board from Hopeful321. Her H was involved with OW from work, moved out, and ceased communication. At one point he finally called her and she was out with friends and there was music and voices in the background and obviously a party going on. IMO, that was a tipping point moment in her sitch because H expected she would be home alone pining for him. When he heard she was out having fun and she wouldn't give him the details, he was knocked off balance and started to think.

You only get those reactions by going the opposite direction.

Accuray