Is this cake eating 5

[Denver_2010]

Time for a new thread.

My old thread:
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2215868&page=11

Thanks to everyone for the wise advice, care and concern that was shown to me on my last thread.

Just to pick up on some of the final posts on that thread that I haven't responded to as yet:

ncl - Thanks for looking out for me like you do. It means so much, as do your constant words of encouragement.

I'm really starting to feel like I'll be OK no matter what happens with my H.

It's taken me a long time to get here, but I can definitely feel the change in my attitude. When you finally do start to detach a little, it's really a massive relief. Like a crushing weight being lifted from your shoulders...

Denver - your words have given me a great deal of comfort.

I do understand that I just have to detach now. Nothing else for it, detach and LRT. Thanks for taking the time to spell this out in such a caring and persuasive way.

I'd like to reproduce some bits of your post here because I'm sure that they'll help others too:

"Know that your H is going through emotional turmoil right now too. I don't care what he says or does, he is. This is a life transition for him too and I guarantee you that underneath all of the venom, there is a doubt. He has to work through the emotions that he is feeling before he can address the doubt.

The anger? Most likely his attempt to convince himself that he is doing the right thing and is making the right decision. See, he has to be angry in order to do what he is doing. That anger gives him strength.

My W has flat out admitted that is why she would be so hateful and mean to mean at times during this process. She had to be in order to leave and stay left. I broke that down by letting her go through her emotions, letting her alone, not responding to it, understanding, and continuing to love."

I know I need to remove myself from the equation and let him go through this process.

I also know that, as you say, things will get better no matter what happens; that time does heal. I'm in your debt for helping me through this.

NLW

You owe ME nothing NLW. I owe this board more than I can explain in words. We pay it forward. Someday you will too I'm sure. Hang in there. You are doing fine.

Denver