Hey Peter! Good to hear from you. And I'm glad you are taking that trip. You need and deserve it. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for great weather and spectacular golf!!
Enjoy!
Me51 W53 S17 S14 M22 T25 Bomb-9/11; A-11/11; I move out 11/11
It's easy to find our bottom, it is our top that requires cultivation.
Every rough spot adds to our emotional constitution. -Barney Fife
My trip to CA went great - played a few rounds of golf, hung out with my sister's family and even managed a couple of trips to a local card room to play some poker.
I missed the girls - but managed to skype with them daily which was fun, got the red-eye back on Monday and straight to the office.
Things between W and I are cordial since I've been back - nothing more. I was GAL last night and played soccer and met friends afterwards.
I then received an email today from my W's L - contains the marital agreement, I had a quick review and it's pretty much what we agreed verbally a long while back. There are a couple of minor ambiguities and some vagueness that I would want ironed out. Need to contact my L to schedule a response. She still hasn't filed (checked the online court site), not sure why - would have thought the filing would take longer.
I won't mention I received it to my W - I'll just let my L file a response when we meet next week.
Pretty depressed about this - I knew it was coming, but another nail in the coffin.
Peace everyone.
M47 W45 D10 (Has CP) D7 M12 T14 ILYBINILWY 5/1/11 Asked for seperation 5/10/11 Seriously DBing 7/1/11 W admitted to 2 EA's on 11/3/11. Evidence of PA 11/5/11 - Definite evidence of PA 11/20/11 D - Final 7/11/12
Glad to hear from u Peter. In my state we have to be seperated for a year prior to D. It's been 8 months and I'm already anxious about dealing with paperwork and the finality of it all.
W was a little more distant than normal last night - obviously her L told her she forwarded the paperwork last night.
I've set an appointment with my L for next Friday to review the document and highlight the concerns I have. Won't mention it to W - just let L's deal with it. One obvious difference - the original agreement had me moving out by June 15 if the house isn't sold (it's currently on the market), this one had me moving out by Aug 1st - I guess given the current housing market my W felt that 3 months wasn't enough time to sell the house and that she recognized I wanted to spend as much time with the girls as possible.
Weekend plans with the girls - horseback riding and going to the mall, seems like such a long time since I spent quality time with them.
Peace everyone...
M47 W45 D10 (Has CP) D7 M12 T14 ILYBINILWY 5/1/11 Asked for seperation 5/10/11 Seriously DBing 7/1/11 W admitted to 2 EA's on 11/3/11. Evidence of PA 11/5/11 - Definite evidence of PA 11/20/11 D - Final 7/11/12
Had a good day with the girls, I took them horseback riding and then we went to the park in the afternoon - great weather.
Why am I writing this at almost 5:00am - D10 woke up and I laid down next to her to get her to sleep. W not home - why should this bother me? After all we're going through a D - but yes, it does bother me. I haven't detached....
M47 W45 D10 (Has CP) D7 M12 T14 ILYBINILWY 5/1/11 Asked for seperation 5/10/11 Seriously DBing 7/1/11 W admitted to 2 EA's on 11/3/11. Evidence of PA 11/5/11 - Definite evidence of PA 11/20/11 D - Final 7/11/12
Nothing much to report - W came home @ 7:30am, she says she stayed with a friend who was having problems, I said I was sorry her friend was having problems but would appreciate a text or call to say she was ok. I don't really believe the friend story.. Till 7:30am come on...
W and I have been distant, she's working alot because it's restaurant week so she's taken on extra shifts - we've barely seen each other and there has been no texting or calling.
I have an apt with my L on Fri to draft a response to her proposal.
Playing soccer tonight and a few drinks with the guys - need to make plans for what to do with the girls over the weekend.
Peace everyone....
M47 W45 D10 (Has CP) D7 M12 T14 ILYBINILWY 5/1/11 Asked for seperation 5/10/11 Seriously DBing 7/1/11 W admitted to 2 EA's on 11/3/11. Evidence of PA 11/5/11 - Definite evidence of PA 11/20/11 D - Final 7/11/12
Peter I can feel your pain. But you must detach and take care of you and the girls. You continue to worry about W and what she is doing. It is not helpful and if anything is harmful to you. Good luck with the L.
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
I'm currently under the same roof as well, and it can be challenging at times.
I fully agree with the above advice, the more you can detach the better it will be for you. I have really felt a sense of relief since detaching. It is for you, and you will be so glad you did.
