WHG: And Alice goes down the rabbit hole...

[workinghardguy]

Kind of down today.. not sure why. I actually feel like I'm sort of used to coming home to my house. I do like the independence and the quiet, but still miss my kids a ton. Had my S last night and tonight again, but miss SD and SS something fierce. I've been meaning to start writing them letters/postcards as someone on here suggested, maybe tonight I'll start that. Seems more constructive than wallowing in missing them.

Yesterday W emailed me while I was at work to say that, now that S's birthday is past, she'd like to refocus on getting the D filed. She wants to meet this week and finalize things. I emailed her back, not sure why. She emailed me back. Then I started to email her back and decided I didn't want or have to deal with that right now. She can wait. So those emails are still waiting.

She didn't like that I said I couldn't meet this week. Sorry, my schedule doesn't allow it and I don't owe you an explanation.

Thinking it's the D talk though that is eating at me. It really shouldn't... it's another step. Maybe some part of me hoped it wouldn't actually happen but the bigger part of me knows it will and has to.

Last night S was asking about the D, his brother and sister, and our family. I'm happy that he still refers to our family as all of us. But then in the course of conversation it occurred to him that someday W might remarry. He asked me, with horror in his voice, "Will I have a new daddy?" That was kind of hard. I told him no, I'll always be his daddy just as mom will always be his mommy. Even if mommy or I someday have someone else in our lives we will still be your mommy and daddy. "Oh... then I'll have a stepdad or a stepmom just like SS and SD do." Yes, just like that.

And as a bit of suggestion to folks... if you're feeling a bit down over your sitch, don't visit Kohl's (or any other department store) "home accent" section. I stopped by tonight to pick up some photo frames and decorations for S's room. Good gracious... the amount of "Love is the key to happiness" and assorted love, family, etc... photo frames and accent pieces is ridiculous. Certainly put me in a great mood.