Jenna - I guess I was trying to make a similar point. People have affairs because they are not satisfied/getting their needs met/etc in their primary relationship. A young man who's getting hauled over the coals by his bossy wife for having a drink with his mates after work, regardless of if his mates are men or women, is going to feel more and more manipulated and unhappy in his relationship with you - and BAZOOMBA - back at the beginning again, with your H falling 4 any happy, fun girl he comes across who will make him feel good about himself. Is that a good way for him to deal with things. No, but you got to admit you guys have a pattern.
If you continue to be jealous, demanding, making him accountable for even his thoughts ... you are going to have a long, sad, stressful marriage.
I hear the alternative view and I understand where you and the other posters are coming from. But Jenna, it doesn't matter where he works, that particular girl is not your problem, the strength, fun, joy and harmony that are missing from your relationship at the moment are the problem.
Forget the OW and work on you. Bring fun and joy and passion back into your life and through you into your marriage.
I guess the other point I'd like to make is that it can be very easy after one partner has done, and admitted to, something that directly threatens the marriage. Affairs/EAs etc are a good example. He did something wrong and he should be punished. But, with the exception of the those psychopath bad-boys we've all come accross from time to time, men just don't develop feelings for other women when things are great at home.
Yeah - he screwed up - but you both contributed to the state of the marriage that led to his indiscretion. Reflect on your part of the cracks and work on them.
And I'll say one more time, GAL girl. Spend time with your girlfriends, take some time out for your hobbies. Become a strong, happy, focussed role model for your little ones.
Courage!
V
Never make someone a priority, who makes you an option.
