Why didn't you throw in th towel? Where you at my point and then what...I need to hear your story. Why r u glad you didn't throw in towel? Did your S cheat...and you had kids who knew...i.e. was your sitch like mine? Did you R?
Everyone's situation is unique to them. I did what was best for me. My W is not in the same crisis as yours (I do believe she has unresolved issues that she refuses to address). My W had a EA with a co-worker mentor/she still is in contact with him though its b/c work.
I wanted to give up, I was basically planning an exit timeline. My needs weren't getting met, she wasn't trying, yada yada yada. My bomb is from 11/2010. But when I took a step back I realized everything I've ever wanted in a partner, she had. There was no one else to 'tempt' me. Plus our kids are very young(2,5). Plus, I'm only 41, so I had some time.
Then about a month ago, things started to change. We aren't fully R, but I feel better about it. She is doing a lot of planning for our future. She has never said "I want to work on the marriage" But if you asked her, I'm sure she'd say she is and has been showing it. It's slow but it's going. If I would have given up, I might have lost that chance.
This feedback will give many people hope and maybe some patience. Glad I asked..glad you responded. Funny..it, the chance to R just came about for you without any big fanfare or trumpets from heaven, meaning time did it's work quietly.
Originally Posted By: rickb89
And BTW...whose the OW your referring to? My friends and me are curious as hell. Am I having blackout spells and going vampire at night or something?
Unless, I'm confusing your with someone else, did you have a friend who was going through something similar who expressed an interest?
That's correct...you win the memory prize! That is Kelli, lifelong friend and fellow LBS, and that did happen. It's not a factor or a blockage to me being clear about my sitch, not to diminish in any way her being a bff. I had no idea who you could have been talking about
