Real quick.... In my H's defense (very, very small defense)
When he said that he wanted primary custody for a year when he gets back, his reasons were because *I* (as in me, Purg) deserve it because I will have been a single parent for a year, and he thinks it's only fair that *I be given some free time while he takes on the majority of responsibilities.
"fair" enough. 1) But why don't YOU see how YOU feel, in a year? And let's not predict what that will be, today.
2) Change nothing legally b/c you'll lose out financially there.
When I went back and re-read my post, I can see how it appeared that he was saying how *he* deserved it and that it was fair to him.... And apparently that's how everyone took it. Not that I'd saying his reasons are any more logical than before, just wanted to clarify.
Given that, I still think he's being selfish and rediculous!! I have. I have no intention on dignifying his ideas with a reasponse anytime soon!
Well why would you? HOW could you?
Hey I am Not sure the following is DBing, and not sure it isn't, but
you could offer him some "reassurances" that while he's gone,
you promise not to have OMs you might be seeing, meet the kids or play stepdad to them, unless/until h gets back, "OR it becomes more serious of a R"...
That way, you know, your h won't fear being replaced while he's away. (Oh wait, being replaced is what he was planning to do to you w/your ex bf)
I don't mean that to sting as much as it may, but it is sort of his la la land perspective where HE gets to do whatever he wants b/c he's owed b/c you mistreated him way back when...
Hey Purg, Don't give him all your power.
And all is not lost, of course he can and will change his mind, on a lot. And his heart will soften with your changes, it already has in some ways. Regardless of any OM discussions you MIGHT have- I do think he needs to fear losing you, whether he admits it or not.
Let your heart not be troubled, right now at least.
Enough on today's plate not to borrow trouble from tomorrow.
((( )))
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
