Detached, but not Broken-a diary of a LRT

[Broken74]

Trigger day today... Financially a good thing as rental tenants are moving into the marital home. Bad thing because I didn't think it was going to be an emotional trigger for me, but it is. I built that house for our family, now another family is moving in. I know that if there is any chance of us reconciling it will be an entirely new start, not in that house, but that doesn't change the fact that it's a sad day just the same.

More persuing behavior from me last night, asking if she or the SS's would like to go to the NCAA games this weekend, obvious answer was no thanks. She has been having some medical problems which have made me reach out to see how she is doing, I am really trying hard to stop that. I am not a stupid person but the detaching behavior is so counter-intuitive in this kind of case it is hard to follow.

I'm starting to wonder if her niceties as of late are related to the fact that she probably hasn't been able to secure financing for the car. Who knows, I have certainly proven that I am not a mind reader.

Although the communications we've had have been playful and seemingly positive, the exchanges obviously cause me emotional distress. The sitch itself is easier to deal with when we aren't speaking period, which is what I know I should be doing already.

So I'm quickly approaching the 7 month mark and am still in absolute limbo. She is in no way showing any signs of trying to work on a R in any way, and she may or may not be dealing with the OM at this point. She never mentions divorce and when I have brought it up she more or less changes the subject and says she's not worried about the divorce itself.

I guess that's the silver lining I take for now, and the fact that we speak and have fun non R conversations. It would be crazy to actually spend some time together! lol

Just venting really, I know I need to do a better job on detachment. Tomorrow off and another GAL weekend at the NCAA games, detaching on the weekends isn't so much of a problem, during the week it's a different story...

Good luck to all in your respective sitch's!