I try to look as attractive as possible when he's around. Makeup, nice cologne, well dressed.
But here's the thing. After I got home last night, I was still angry with him about the party, no matter how many times I tried to calm myself down. We ended up having another "discussion."
Then the midden really hit the windmill. I couldn't keep all the pain, rage and fear inside anymore. It all came out. I ended up storming back into the living room and angrily confronting him about why ending our marriage and our life together is so easy for him. I yelled. I cried. I screamed. I pretty much destroyed a month's worth of work on my Last Resort. He threatened to move out, then said he wouldn't. I told him to look at his actions through my eyes and then go look himself in the mirror to see if he likes the man he sees looking back at him. I said a lot of things.
I don't know if I can re-start my LRT and have the confidence, patience and strength I need for it to work, or if he's too far gone in his MLC and just wants to destroy everything rather than face it.
...I just want my husband and my marriage back, and it hurts so much.
