Daniel I agree with Mr. Bond in that your W is unhappy and has OM so that is why we are saying she should be the one to leave. I can certainly understand that you want what's best for your kids we should always want that. the question still remains, what do you want?
I understand that your name is on the lease but in reality once you are out she can change the locks on you forcing you to take her to court. I spoke with a L last week in regards to when my W moves out and if I have the right to change my locks once she does even though both of our names are on the mortgage. I was told that it is in my best interest to do that because at any time my W could come into the house and clean me out. I was told that I can't come and go as I please in her new place so why should she have her cake and eat it too. She will be mad I was told but so what the only way she could get back in the house would be for her to take me to court. Sorry to hijack your thread I'm just giving you food for thought.
We are just trying to look out for your best interest right now because I'm sure you aren't ready to do it yourself. Now you could go back home with your kids and get your own place with them and leave her to fend for herself if it were me I would go that route. At this point it is best to not think of her as your W because quiet frankly she isn't especially with OM in the picture. Now I'm not telling you to be cold, mean, nasty and heartless to her what I'm telling you is to DETACH from her. I suggest that you search out bustorama's threads on how he successfully busted his D and more importantly made some significant changes in his life. I know you will benefit from reading his threads.
M 44 W 43 S 23 S 15 INILWY 9/11 Divorce Mediation started 3/13 June 30 the day W is moving out