I so agree with you forward. I did contribute to the marriage problems, but nothing deserving of cheating, lying, betraying, abandoning, and emotional torture.
You know, I have been reading about bi-polar, passive aggressive, borderline, histrionic personalities for the last couple of years. Why is it that my ex has almost every symptom of all of these?
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
You know, I have been reading about bi-polar, passive aggressive, borderline, histrionic personalities for the last couple of years. Why is it that my ex has almost every symptom of all of these?
ummm... M... L... C... ??
I've done my share of educating myself on personality disorders regarding my W. Among them, borderline showed prominently.
Of course... I can't deny that from time to time, I may have displayed some symptoms of personality disorders... we are all human... we are all capable of behaving in those symptoms...
The most important thing to note (and I do like to believe that most people look at those things as an intellectual endeavour, rather than attempts at diagnosing underlying flaws in our spouses) is whether these symptoms are truly aspects of our spouses or whether they are simply exaggerations or "cause based symptoms" that came on gradually, over time but were not prevalent or dominant traits prior to or at the time we met our spouses.
I personally don't know for sure that my W has any chronic PD... even though I could point to past behaviours that might have hinted of such...
Ok this is what is happening to me. The more I have no contact with ex, the madder he gets. He claims his last outburst was because I do not initiate contact. Talk about a temper tantrum. Also, the more I have no contact, the more he tells people I am "after him". This is some crazy stuff. Every day I more and more want to move far far away from him.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
Yes, I did not have any contact with him for 45 days and he views that as "pursuing". My ex seemed so much more rational, now he is regressing big time.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
Trusting, Just listen to him and let it go out of the other ear. He wants to feel like Mr. Stud Muffin and to do that, he wants you to pursue him. He wants everyone to think that you are pursuing him all of the time. Stand your ground don't contact him unless it is an absolute emergency.
The Mr. Stud Muffin is throwing a huge temper tantrum and I'd let him just stomp his feet and hold his breath!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
Ex texted me this morning regarding the kids schedules which I already knew about because he told me at the parent-teacher conference spew. I thanked him for the information and told him that I found his behavior after the conference unaceptable and I wanted it to stop. I told him in the text that I realized he was in a lot of pain but that is no excuse to treat someone horribly. I am done with his craziness after 5 years post divorce.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
