My Story So Far. Is this even worth saving?

[timbits]

I feel angry, but I've been working very hard to not express it at H. Usually it only happens in our MC sessions, but I have come a long way in controlling it. Last night, I just lost it because I feel like "You're the one who betrayed me, and yet I'm supposed to help FIX your issues?".

I know what he was getting from OW. He was getting someone who would write with him, be creative with and also excite him. They didn't have sex, but they were intimate in other ways. I have issues with that. Issues that I thought were getting better. I work hard every day to be physically affectionate with H, to push my own boundaries. I do have PTSD from the abuse I suffered, but I try not to punish H for this and do as much as I can. But, honestly? I do quite a lot for this marriage. I am the only one working, the stable one who will always support him, emotionally and financially. I feel angry because I'm doing a lot of work while he's off on lunch dates with OW.

But I need to let that go. The main thing is that he's here with me now.

We've decided that he's going to get a referral for an IC at MC tomorrow. He will also go to our PCP to discuss his depression. I just can't take it on right now.

For GAL, I'm taking a class in jewellery making. I'm also going to the gym, going out at nights to movies, inviting friends over for dinner. That type of thing. Basically being more social. H is invited to go along, but if he doesn't want to, I'll go myself.

Think I'm off moderation already. My posts aren't delayed.