Stuck in a mess

[Dory]

I'm going to have to do a fly-by post here as I am short on time this morning.

Hi Dory. I have been scouring my old threads for a few things that might help you. I just came across some personal goals that I set for myself in the early days. Maybe they will be useful to you.

"My goals:

1. Become a better person;
2. Learn to control my ego;
3. Learn what love means to me;
4. Learn to love my W unconditionally;
5. To become a better H;
6. Learn to be more in control of my personal happiness;
7. Understand my share in the breakdown of my M;
8. To be resilient through the worst disaster of my life - the breakdown of M;
9 To be strong and confident through this;
10. To maintain hope no matter how dark things may become in the future."

Denver

Thanks Denver, I appreciate your input. I'm assuming you mean that I should also be setting personal goals for myself?

With the help of my therapist, for the most part I have been doing just that, although I admit, our sessions for the past 4 1/2 months have been mostly focused on me trying to regain my footing after my marriage falling apart & trying to dissect what went wrong in hopes of not repeating the same mistakes. According to my therapist, my H's illness throws a monkey wrench into the situation, as she doesn't know him other than what I've told her & it's hard to predict his behaviour & reactions while he's still chemically unbalanced.

So my personal goals for myself are fairly in line with what you have written for yourself. So thank you for the reminder. I do sometimes have a tendency to get overly focused on some things and in the meantime, allow other things fall by the wayside. I have to learn to keep reminding myself to keep looking at the bigger picture and strive for better balance in my life.

I will post some more responses to each of you later today when I have more time. But thank you everyone so far for your input/advice, I really do appreciate it!