@ West - Good to see you here. I haven't looked at my w's FB since May.. so I'm not hurt by seeing her posts...I'm not even tempted to look anymore.
...it's more so that it hurts that she is my "friend" but actually doesn't want to be that.. except at her convenience.
I agree it's more about limiting the rollercoaster. I never know when she is going to post, and I'm still wanting to protect myself..
..plus if she doesn't want anything to do with me? Why should she have access to my life??
@ JS - Thank you... and I'm trying. Most days are great.. just been in a funk.
@Mimi - Yes I am sad.. very much so.. but I need to keep hitting myself over the head the with "reality"hammer.. otherwise I won't grow.
Time will tell if my w wants me back in her life. She'd have alot of amends to make to me. I don't seem to be on the top priority of people to deal with at the moment.
Journaling...
W has yet to cash either January or February's health insurance payment that I gave her.
She told me she didn't really want to take me to court over it so I'm not sure what the hold up is.
My guess is that she thinks that if she cashes it, she then feels like she has "accepted" the amount I am giving her....
...it doesn't matter. For the past year my w has done what's best for her.. regardless of the consequence to me....
..she'll do what she has to do.
But If she doesn't cash either check by the end of March, I won't send her another one until she does.
The money will always be there but due to my industry some projects I get paid day of, others week of, some projects - 30 days after...
so my account fluctuates quite a bit. It just doesn't allow for my w to just cash $1k worth of checks whenever she is "ready".
Thoughts on if I should tell her this?
It's not really a pressure thing nor do I have any intention to stop paying her...
...but I need to control my own finances too.
*sigh* Good times...
M(f): 40 D'ed: 8/12
Show empathy when there's pain. Show grace when warranted. Kindness in the midst of anger. Faith in the face of fear.
