No, not new emails, thankfully. Well, the Cochella thing is new, but the purchase of them are not new. He purchased them last June for this year's festival (I guess you have to buy them that far in advance?? I saw the email so I know it's legit). He says several coworkers from that site were refreshing at the same time to obtain tickets and he was one of the lucky ones. Agreed that he was stupid to sell them to her, but that all seems to be square.
I'm not looking into the keeping of the emails so much as the lying. He had me fairly convinced that there was no real EA. That it was just a close friendship that he did not realize could easily be misconstrued as crossing the line. That's the primary reason I'm ticked. He lied and I bought it. Also, there was sh!t from her up to October 2nd. Although I will say this, there wasn't .... inappropriate things per se in the emails in the Fall, but there were things from her that said, "PICK UP THE PHONE!! You are so selfish. I hate you. I'm not dealing with you unless it's for work". Clearly SHE felt something was still going on, even though he is still adamant that there was nothing of the sort going on. Said that he stopped inappropriate conversations in the spring, but still talked to her casually in the summer and she couldn't take a hint.
Pisses me off he never straight up said, "I love my wife, screw off".
H texted her and asked if she got the FB messages. She said she didn't know what he was talking about, and so I emailed her (which he was fine with. He was fine with the FB too). She did email me back. This is what I got:
"I have not received any Facebook messages from you and I just recently looked again and do not see any messages. To be honest with you, I have not slept with your H, ever. And I do not want to. The things you wrote about happened a year ago and I am done with it. I do not want any thing from your H. If I talk it is only for work related reasons"
Well, I have to hand it to her for at least responding. But is it just me, or is this slightly dismissive? "The things you wrote about happened a year ago and I am done with it". Is the subtext here "yeah that's in the past, so build a bridge..."
I'm sorry. This is just a f-ing blip on her radar of life. But this event will have consequences on my family for years to come. I tallied it up. I spent over $5000 on sh!t directly related to all this crap last year. 5k. And who knows I will continue to literally and figuratively pay for this episode in the future.
I've thought about responding with this:
"Thank you, first and foremost for responding to me. I appreciate your honesty and your willingness to communicate with me; however, I am flabbergasted and disgusted that any woman would conduct such inexcusable behavior with a married man, especially one whose wife is expecting. It's not like you didn't know of my existence. How nice for you that this "happened a year ago and you are done with it". This will be with my family and me for the rest of our days. I have already spent over $5000 on expenses directly related to this mess you helped create, and I will continue to "pay" for this literally and figuratively for years to come. How dare you have such explicit conversations with my husband while I am next to him laying in the hospital bed recovering from giving birth. It seems apparent that you have no moral compass or ethics, so I will end my tirade here as I am sure lessons on fidelity will be wasted on a person like yourself who clearly lacks these attributes. You will never know the hell that you put me through or the things you have stolen from me. And if by chance your future spouse completely loses his mind, some tramp at work encourages him to get a divorce, he has an emotional affair with her and essentially abandons you while you're pregnant; good. You deserve it."
Let me add on some key information: H is extremely remorseful about what happened. He is fine with me contacting her as much as necessary (as long as it's not on company email). He has been a little snippy the past few days when I start to ask more questions. But then I remind him that had he not done this bullsh!t in the first place and then been honest on the MULTIPLE occasions I gave him to explain then we wouldn't be in this mess, then he straightens up. So, knowing he's supportive, what do you think?
