That he will realize it's a big commitment and that he won't be able to come thru. That he will change his mind again and then tell me to have the kids more. And that the children will feel yet once again, abandoned by him. I could not bear to see him do it twice to them
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Out of your control no matter how much time he has them. His relationship with his children is his responsibility.
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- I am afraid that he won't be able to come thru and try to get OW or his mom to pick up the slack, rather than accept his mistake. Then the kids won't be bonding with either him or me.
Again, out of your control. He will have the children sometime and he will do what he does.
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I am afraid that because he might be doing it for money, that once he has them, he will not be engaged with them and truly bond with them, although that is just me trying to control his behavior
Out of your control and, yes!
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I am also afraid that he will come thru, and that the kids will be happier with him and want to be only with him and OW and that I will be left behind. This is the one purely selfish motivation that should not weigh in. But I have big abandonment issues, and I cannot help fear this.
Believe it or not, I had some of these same fears and my sons are young adults! I'd put good money on every parent feels this way at this point in the sitch.
Keep being the good mother you are and believe in you! Kids are smarter than we give them credit for, they want love, stability and someone who pays attention, not someone who pays for stuff.
Did the good times when you were a kid revolve around "stuff" or good times with loving people?
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
