This may be a distinction w/o a difference. My tske on what you've presented as a difference between withdrawing and giving devloping space may not appear that different from your W's POV.
I get the no pursuit aspect and that is fine. If I follow your thinking, wihdrawing is more akin to intentionally witholding (as in there may be a "request" for affection and you intentionally withhold w/ or w/o malice). Space or distance would look considerably less "needy."
Don't overthink this. Don't overread this. All these various books may be interesting and useful exercises in self evaluation and introspection. But at the end of the day, remember what you what your goals are and what you are willing to settle for (there is even an acronym for that...BATNA...Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement).
But then again, what do I know? I'm only a few weeks away from 15 years w/o sex.
The Captain
Last sex: 04/06/1997 Last attempt: 11/11/1997 W Issues "No Means No" Declaration: 11/11/1997 W chooses to terminate sex 05/1998 I gained 60, then lost 85 pounds. Start running again (marathons)
