Denial....its not just a river in Egypt...

[imthemom]

S15 and STBXH actually made the plan for the weekend and S15 was actually pretty excited about it. He had called his D a couple of days ago to see if they could go hunting or fishing during that weekend "just me and you" he had asked him. Then his D called and cancelled friday and said he had to work, but could pick him up Sat. night. Ive let him make his own decision about going to his Ds. His C has said its the only controll he has right now so give it to him. S15 has not met the ow yet...I know that is going to be a stressfull situation not just for him but for me to. Im trying to prepare myself for that. STBX has seriousley become a person that I would not even want to know. His lack of careing for his sons feelings and the total disrespect he has for me is old...and Im seeing him for what he really is..weak, and a coward.

As far as this "date"...I didnt commit to it and told him we would see. I dont know if Im interested in anything like that right now. Hes nice and we have a lot in common...so as far as Im concerned its nothing. And I have no problem letting him know that if I have to. I am not divorced and ive told my sons that married people dont date. thats just how I feel and I cant help that. Thanks Mish...I so appreciate your support!!!

[Nblost]

At a minimum, the possibility of a date or knowing there are nice men out there can help give you some strength. I agree that if you aren't comfortable...give yourself more time. If the guy really is so nice and great...he'll wait. And...think about how awesome it is that you met someone so quickly! If anything...a great sign that there are other fish in the sea.

I know for me...I think the key is trying to do more with the kids and with friends. I think it's key to feel like you don't need a man in your life to be happy. I am seriously so much happier hanging out alone and reading, taking a bath at night than I am trying to make a man like my H happy. :-) And, I'm excited to create some new goals for myself and my life.

As you know from my sitch, I'm really at a place where I'm ready to move on. Maybe that will change if H ever has a completely awakening...but for now, life is short and I am tired of trying.

[imthemom]

I totally get that Nb...and just the little bit of attention has done wonders for my badly bruised ego..:)
But my son had been devistated by what his D has done by bringing another person into his life. He hasnt even met her yet and is having such a hard time and has lost so much respect for him. I am in no hurry to add another person to the mix and to add more emotional damage on his back. He needs me totally committed to him right now and im not willing to let ANYTHING get in the way of that.
I have finally realized that I was fighting a loseing battle...my STBX is damaged far beyond what I realized and I dont want a person that is not willing to do the work to correct that anywere near me. We are in a no contact mode right now and I have never been more at peace...

[Nblost]

ITM, I'm very similar. I think you need to follow your instincts. I also think you are totally right that your S needs your attention. My kids need more of mine...I'm struggling to manage three kids and try to get my head back on straight at work.

I've been dabbling in the dating scene and I can tell I'm not ready for anything serious.

I had contact again with H yesterday (he's coming back here this weekend) and I'm miserable today. I'm dreading seeing him and dealing with him. I guess we each reach a point where we can't go on.

[imthemom]

Started a new thread in Surviving the big D under Divorce...with a side of crazy.

but you know ill still be checken on my girls!! I sat and read some of my old post last night, ones from before I caught him in our bed with that other person...it made me sick, how hard I was trying, how desperate I was to keep my family intact and he was sleeping with her the whole time....

and what a different person I am now!!!!...he can have her, either one of them are no prize.