I FB'd her. I said, "I need to know if you slept with my husband. I already know that you kissed and had extremely inappropriate conversations with him to say the least. Please tell me".
D.I.M.,
Please don't make decisions (or take actions) like this when you're so highly emotional, and CERTAINLY not when you're drunk. We can help you with this stuff, here, but only if you come and post here first.
For the record, the correct way to flush out an affair is to go to your SPOUSE (not the OP), and you say "I know ALL ABOUT you and ________ , and it needs to stop -- now. This is incredibly direspectful to me, to our marriage and to our kid(s)." (or something similar). By saying "I know all about it," you use the power of them NOT knowing what YOU know, and so therefore, they have to ASSUME YOU KNOW EVERYTHING.
When you say "I know you kissed, but did you do anything else," then you've just let the cheating couple know the extent of your evidence. Not smart.
I know you're reeling, but please don't do anything just right now.
