what a horrible last couple of days... my h's uncle was moved to an assisted living home and my mother in law offered some of his things to me, when I went to pick them up both my h's brothers were there, and quite honestly i couldnt believe how rude they were to me,..,I mean really what the heck did i do?
they barely said two words to me, but i had my kids with me, and they didnt even talk to them... for me it was kinda the straw that broke the camels back.
My h, has had me convinced this is all on me, and i am a terrible person, i now know by how I was treated that that is what he is sharing with his family..if we were ever to reconcile those feelings would not change...
my h is unbelievable, and i am hurt, i do not want to feel this way anymore... I cant... it hurts too much to be just erased out of everyones lives... i am worth more than that.
I really dont know what i expected but i cant express how empty i feel.
m 41 h 44 d 17 (prev marriage) d 9 Never give up!!!!!
It's a tough balance to weigh where we are and where they are when they are confused and in need of space. At least in my sitch I feel it necessary for her to have this time by herself and only time will tell where we will end up.
I really like this. Maybe this whole thing is about letting go of expectations, allowing your WAS to have the time and space to sort it all out, while doing the same yourself. The hard part is that we don't KNOW where our sitchs will end up ultimately, but we can be in charge of where WE will end up ultimately -- and hopefully that's in a good emotional, mental, and physical place.
Mimi
M:37; H:37; M:10 years;T:13 years;no kids. Bomb ("I love you, but don't feel things for you I should":1/08/12 Separated (H living with various friends:1/18/12 Separated (H rented his own apartment:3/4/12
what a horrible last couple of days... my h's uncle was moved to an assisted living home and my mother in law offered some of his things to me, when I went to pick them up both my h's brothers were there, and quite honestly i couldnt believe how rude they were to me,..,I mean really what the heck did i do?
they barely said two words to me, but i had my kids with me, and they didnt even talk to them... for me it was kinda the straw that broke the camels back.
My h, has had me convinced this is all on me, and i am a terrible person, i now know by how I was treated that that is what he is sharing with his family..if we were ever to reconcile those feelings would not change...
my h is unbelievable, and i am hurt, i do not want to feel this way anymore... I cant... it hurts too much to be just erased out of everyones lives... i am worth more than that.
I really dont know what i expected but i cant express how empty i feel.
I'm sorry. Try not to take it personally. You don't know what your H told them, or how they have (mis)interpreted things between you two. Their reaction to you is a reflection on them, not you. No one can erase you out of everyone's lives. Treat yourself to something nice and relaxing. You need it.
Mimi
M:37; H:37; M:10 years;T:13 years;no kids. Bomb ("I love you, but don't feel things for you I should":1/08/12 Separated (H living with various friends:1/18/12 Separated (H rented his own apartment:3/4/12
well here I am trapped inside of my own head once again, my h has gone silent again... he hasnt contacted me, and if i contact him he will respond, with simple short text depending on his mood...
I am officially sick of this feeling... i am feeling i am hanging onto a ghost.. the ghost of our relationship..all that was and is important to me have died...
I really am trying to gal and outsider looking in, it will appear that i am happy and living my life without him.. but inside i am fighting a battle between my heart and brain and I feel like I am losing.
it has been months since my h and have had any discussion on us, months since we have talked about any hope. so here i stand, alone and less confindent than ever.
m 41 h 44 d 17 (prev marriage) d 9 Never give up!!!!!
I'm so sorry you are feeling dragged backward like this.
You just had another tremendous hurt put on you by the apparent hostility from his brothers. It is going to take time to get past that. Give yourself a break, be kind to yourself and in time you will be able to move past it.
We all have to process each blow as they come.
Now, with your H living so far away, it's going to be difficult to gauge what is going on with him and with your R. He sounds like he is depressed and angry based on what he keeps saying about his life and his job. He's not a happy man. Do you think you would be able to be rebuild a R with someone who is like that? What if it were you who was depressed and angry? Would you want to be faced with the people you had hurt?
Sometimes it helps to process if you can put yourself on the other side of the coin and look at it that way.
Do you have fun plans with your D8 for this weekend?
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
thank you for the understanding kind words, and i think you are right.. it was a blow and it did hurt.
As a matter of fact i do have some fun plans this weekend.. for the first time in a very long time I have a little extra money, so i wanted to do something with my kids... I was thinking brunch and maybe some time in the park... it is suppose to be a nice weekend, so the time in the sun would do wonders i am sure!
I also have to get dressed up Saturday night for a business thing, dressing up usually makes me feel good...
THank you again for your words..it does help to look at the other side of the coin, however it is so un natural for me to be angry, heck with everything that has happened i am still not mad at him...
m 41 h 44 d 17 (prev marriage) d 9 Never give up!!!!!
ok, major news and I need help from anyone who can offer support.
My H phoned yesterday, he was concerned because i didnt sound good, and honestly I was just having an off day...
He went on to tell me he misses all of us, his family and he loves us and me... he said he thinks everything just got all messed up and doesnt know how to fix it now, but would like to try.
he said we can have lunch when he comes to town on Wednesday and talk, told me to stay strong and keep a "stiff upper lip"
I am happy, confused and scared and I dont know what to do.
m 41 h 44 d 17 (prev marriage) d 9 Never give up!!!!!
Until he asks you what you think you both should do, make NO suggestions. Let him lead. He is going to have to do the work since he is the one who walked away so let him.
Have an answer prepared for when/if he asks what you think you should do. Do not go in unprepared.
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
