Got it! I'm not sure H would have been cooperative for that. His repeated complaint was that I wouldn't have sex with him. He talked about gardening, but I'm convinced it was only for the end goal of sex.
I also read The Sex-Starved Marriage, which sort of implied that everything is going to be tainted if someone is sexually starved. I just wanted to get it "off the plate" so it wasn't an excuse.
Nyeh ... I tried it, it didn't work. We're not having sex now anyway, so somewhat of a moot point. Honestly, I'd rather know up-front how my H is going to be in bed, rather than put all the other effort into it and have it all ruined by his humiliation of me. Are you suggesting his actions would somehow have been acceptable if we had gardened together? I don't think so. And sex will never be a back-burner item for him. He thinks it's my unquestionable obligation.
