My Story So Far. Is this even worth saving?

[mimivac]

Timbits, as I have learned from this experience so far, the best thing you can do right now is to work on yourself. I know you are both angry at him and desperate for his affection. Totally normal. Sometimes my desperation would become so unbareable that I would break one of the DB principles, and it ALWAYS ended up being bad for me. But as I become more and more self-focused, I find it easier not to confront H. That's not what we need right now. We need a peaceful environment in which we can re-discover ourselves and work on becoming better, happier human beings. Things with the m will move along at their own pace.

It sounds like you've had some hard knocks in life. I've also discovered that I sometimes don't take good care of myself because deep down I feel I don't deserve my own love. As I've been working to see myself as inherently valuable and worthy of love, I have been feeling less and less desperate about my S. One book that has helped me in this regard is "When You Think You're Not Enough: The Four Life-Changing Steps to Loving Yourself."

Good luck and keep posting.

Mimi