... H kicked it in gear for me last night. I asked him for a clarification on something he said this weekend, and he immediately got angry and told me I focus too much on the M, that I'm making it my idol. And I thought, "maybe so..."
To me, this is very telling... (combined with other recent sharing)...
When we talk about respecting yourself, it is because we can't be guaranteed that others will respect us... In the "normal world" we can simply remove ourselves from those who do not respect us. In a M, it's not so easy.
Respecting yourself is a very healthy boundary...
You weren't innocent in the breakdown of the M... but...
In your hurt, pain and anger, the messages that came across in your posts had an appearance that you may simply be venting at the little things, making them bigger than they were.
We can't know your H's perspective, but his behaviours and language suggest that he may not honour the M in the same way that you (rightly) may.
It sounds like your H may either be complacent or stuck in regards to the M. I mean, really so...
Why would anyone not want better...?
In the "worst" of my M, if my W would have come to me and said, "I want to work on making a better M." I would have been happy to work with her towards that end. Even when I was really mad "at her".
People work to have a better job, more money, more fun, more... more... more... it's human nature...
It would be interesting to know what your H's answer would be to the question, "Do you want a better M?"
